Bad Haiku Friday: A Dream

joyful students race

into class ready to learn -

my alarm clock rings

Bad Haiku Friday goes to the mall

a new credit card
a mall in driving distance -
bad combination

a trip to the mall
is one of the five pillars
of consumerism

(A nod to Laura, the mother of Bad Haiku)

Bad Haiku Friday: Reality (?) shows

so-called "real housewives"
provide a good argument
for easy divorce

Bethenny chose to
entertain us with her lack
of shame and good taste

the next top model
wannabees reinforce those
old stereotypes

reality shows
help to distort perceptions
of what's really real

Bad Haiku Friday - chili guilt

leftover chili
with cheese on tortilla chips -
wife need never know

Ho! Ho! ... Oh! - A Bad Haiku Christmas

Birthday shotgun

Clem’s birthday shotgun
provided the Christmas feast –
Rudolph’s final flight

Fruitcake

Aunt Ann’s old fruitcake
arrived for Christmas again
(no, not Uncle Ed)

Scurry Christmas

over the river
and through the woods we scurry –
in-laws still find us

What’s the poop?

Next year, Santa, please
along with your reindeer bring
a pooper scooper

Stale Cookies

finding stale cookies
Santa raids the cheapskate’s fridge –
ah, a pecan pie

Sleep?

folks in their beds with
visions of credit card bills
dancing in their heads

Gingerbread cookies

half-eaten cookie
clutched in Santa’s stiff fingers –
wicked witch cackles

Ned makes the naughty list

prone beneath the tree
an unconscious Santa Claus –
Ned’s booby trap worked

Beep … beep

Christmas morning Mass –
during Father’s homily
beeps from new game boys

Practical joke

practical joke with
Ex Lax explains why reindeer’s
nickname was “Dumper”


(I was prompted to write these by a "contest." I will try to get to confession this weekend.)

Bad Haiku Friday: Will there be a test?

Teacher in-service -
doodling and nodding off
during the lecture

Bad Haiku Friday: Lab Time

probing owl pellets

students totally grossed out

but fascinated

Bad Haiku Friday: Musical Study Hall

study hall lessons -
guitar for middle schoolers-
striking the right chord

Bad Haiku Friday: Nuts About ACORN

a Lila Rose grad
uncovers ACORN aiding
prostitution scam

bad low-budget film
pimp and prostitute reveal
ACORN’s true values

ACORN has been caught –
still more friends of Obama
who said, “Nuts to you.”

Bad Haiku Friday: Five years since last visit

my doctor prescribes

fewer sweets, more exercise -

why I avoid him

Bad Haiku Friday: The Bills

Buffalo Bills fans
grateful last night's game not shown -
"NEXT year" cries begin

You know team is bad
when winless Detroit beats them -
coach checks resume

Bad Haiku Friday: Retirement money!

retirement plan if

Social Security fails -

lottery tickets.

Bad Haiku Friday: Bye Bye Summer

summer break over

teacher meetings start next week -

when's the first snow day?

Bad Haiku Friday - Claustrophobic

fat claustrophobic

drives a sub-compact -

masochistic too

Bad Haiku Friday

loud atv
up and down, up and down street -
9-1-1, hello ...

Bad Haiku Friday

Walmart's June specials -

wedding gowns, rice

and shotgun shells

Bad Haiku Friday: Dog Show

watching the dog show

out of chips, pretzels, popcorn -

dog shares her biscuits