Ho! Ho! ... Oh! - A Bad Haiku Christmas

Birthday shotgun

Clem’s birthday shotgun
provided the Christmas feast –
Rudolph’s final flight

Fruitcake

Aunt Ann’s old fruitcake
arrived for Christmas again
(no, not Uncle Ed)

Scurry Christmas

over the river
and through the woods we scurry –
in-laws still find us

What’s the poop?

Next year, Santa, please
along with your reindeer bring
a pooper scooper

Stale Cookies

finding stale cookies
Santa raids the cheapskate’s fridge –
ah, a pecan pie

Sleep?

folks in their beds with
visions of credit card bills
dancing in their heads

Gingerbread cookies

half-eaten cookie
clutched in Santa’s stiff fingers –
wicked witch cackles

Ned makes the naughty list

prone beneath the tree
an unconscious Santa Claus –
Ned’s booby trap worked

Beep … beep

Christmas morning Mass –
during Father’s homily
beeps from new game boys

Practical joke

practical joke with
Ex Lax explains why reindeer’s
nickname was “Dumper”


(I was prompted to write these by a "contest." I will try to get to confession this weekend.)