Discerning

One of the painful aspects of even considering the diaconate is that it forces you to look at yourself. You have to examine all of your relationships, your spiritual life, decisions and mistakes you’ve made, your emotional and mental health.

That is not a comfortable thing to do.

What overwhelms me is my unworthiness. Oh, I know that is almost a cliche, but it is true.

And that sense of unworthiness could be part of the emotional/mental health issues I must address.

At morning Mass the other day, I even began to cry when thinking of my spiritual state.

So even if I never get a chance to officially apply, this process itself will help me.

If I let it.