Christmas Eve morning - first without mom

Here it is, Christmas Eve.

The first without mom.

I'm not weepy about it. I haven't spent Christmas Eve or Day with her in years. We've generally met to exchange gifts and spend some uncomfortable time together a day or two after Christmas.

But this is dad's first year alone. And because he is in a wheelchair (his choice: it was easier than walking with the quad cane, which he was able to do until he allowed his legs to weaken by constantly using the chair) that can't fit in our non-handicap accessible house (all steps, narrow bathroom door, toilet next to a radiator and a window making rails impossible), he can't be with family.

We will drive over to the adult home to spend some time with him.

I've also suggested that he get into physical therapy again so that by next year he can join us. I hope that will spur him.

This is also Nana's first year without mom. I just moved her into a new home near us. She'll be with us Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Hopefully, that will help her deal with the loss.

Hopefully she will not spout off with one of her accusations or insults.

Sigh.
I have a c.d. called a Dysfunctional Family Christmas. I may listen to it later.

The high point of today is that I will play Santa at the mall from 3 p.m. to closing time.

Christmas Eve Santa.

Even though I have been dealing with a pinched nerve in my back that has left my left leg in constant pain, these days as Santa have been among the happiest Christmas experiences I can remember in a long time.

Ho! Ho! Ho!