A nightmare - a gift?

I awoke shortly after 3 this morning.

I'd had a weirdly detailed nightmare.

I dreamed that as I was driving to school I felt strange, disoriented. I got to school, and the students arrived. Class was about to begin.

And I realized I couldn't talk.

It hit me that I was having a stroke.

I wrote on the board for the kids to get one of the other teachers. I wrote him a note asking him to call an ambulance and what I feared was happening.

I wrote a couple of assignments on the board for my classes to do.

And I wondered if I would ever be able to speak again.

I thought about the fact that I might have to give up teaching in a regular school. I thought about not being able to sing at church or with Rock of Faith. I thought about not being able to lector. I thought about trying to learn to talk again.

I wondered if I could even play guitar any more.

But I knew I could still write, and that was a comfort.

In the dream I wasn't afraid. I wasn't panicked. It was just realizing that my entire life was about to change.

I lay in bed trying to get back to sleep. I tossed and turned until I heard the Sunday paper being delivered. I got up, and read it.

I tried not to make any noise - I didn't want to wake my wife.

But I also realized that I was not saying anything.

Like in the nightmare.

It was just a dream. But given what's happened in my family over the years, given what happened to my dad, a possible reality.

As I sat there I thought about taking better care of myself - just in case. Losing weight. Exercising more. (Who am I kidding: STARTING to exercise!) Watching my diet.

Then I felt grateful that I can still speak. That I can sing. That I can write.

I even felt grateful that in the nightmare I could still write.

And knowing that like so much else in life, it could all be gone in a flash.

Strange dream.

I wonder if like so many dreams in the Bible it's a warning?

A gift rather than a nightmare?