Insincerely yours

The local newspaper had a mini poetry contest. I lost - though one of my poems did get mentioned in passing.

The contest called for parodies of the famous William Carlos Williams poem:

This is just to say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

My three entries were:

This is just to say

Your cat
really didn’t
run away
last week.

Sorry,
he was using
my guitar case
as a litter box

and I
…well …
don’t look
in the flower bed.


This is just to say

I took
the money
you had
in your sock drawer

I know
you were saving
it for
plastic surgery

Sorry,
my sure thing
in the fifth race
lost by a nose


This is just to say

I didn’t mail
the contest poem
you asked
me to mail

I know
you had high hopes
it would win
and bring you fame

but I had one stamp left
the mortgage was due
and poetry
doesn’t pay the bills