Food fight

I'm not a gourmet. I don't have an educated palate. My taste is not refined. When I hear people talk of "haute cuisine" I instinctively think "haughty." I don't care about presentation. I don't mind if the wine is not vintage. I don't eat on fine china. (Heck, I've been known to eat directly out of the pan!) I don't need finely brewed cappuccino or premium blends: Instant coffee will do.

I just like food. My waist is a dead giveaway of that fact.

I like good, solid, reasonably well-prepared food and drinks.

I like pasta, green salads, steamed vegetables, raw apples, bread, raisins, cheese, eggs, seafood, figs, potatoes in general, chili peppers, beans, oatmeal, pickled vegetables, rice, popcorn, etc.

But it has to be food with some taste and bark.

You see, I like food that fights back. I put chili powder on popcorn. I add hot peppers, onions, and garlic to macaroni and cheese. I put horseradish on cheese or veggie burger sandwiches. I dash hot sauce on potatoes (baked, french fries, home fries, etc.). I lace my rice with curry. I sprinkle Cajun mix on my eggs.

You may have noticed the lack of meat in what I've written so far. I am a vegetarian - though not a perfect one. I don't eat mammals or birds, but, in a nod to inconsistency, I do eat eggs and seafood. And if hard pressed, say on a desert island, I would eat animal flesh. My diet choice is based on ethical concerns and health, not on a deep-seated belief that it's wrong to eat a cow or a chicken. However, if the day should come when I have to eat meat, I would, in accord with Franciscan (and Native American) spirituality, thank Brother Pig or Sister Turkey for his or her gift.

As for what I do eat now, if the food lacks something ... Give me spices. Shake, sprinkle, dash, pour them on. Get my eyes watering. Set my tongue on fire.

I'll cool and cleanse my palate with water.

Tap water.

Or maybe leftover instant coffee.