On a lighter "note" ...

Did you hear about the lazy musician?
He would only play rests.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.

Did you hear about the short musician?
He could only play half notes.

What's the definition of an optimist?
A music director with a mortgage.

How do you put a sparkle in a soprano's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

What's the definition of an alto?
A soprano who can sight-read.

Where is a tenor's resonance?
Where his brain should be.

How many basses does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They're so macho they prefer to walk around in the dark and bang their shins.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. Nobody ever watches the choir director.

Why did the musician refuse to play at games that his favorite team was losing?
He didn’t like the scores.

What is the difference between an organist and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What's the first thing a church musician says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"